Monday, November 3, 2014

The Decline and Fall of Food and Wine

(Or: "Erica reads the latest issue of Food and Wine magazine, 
and determines that the world has gone to shit.") best friend has moved in with me.  She lived in New York City for six years, and while she never dwelt in Manhattan proper, she brought with her from that city with more culture and snazz than I have ever seen.

I used to get all my wine at Trader Joes, and it was okay. I know beer though, and I would buy good ones. Well now that Erica is here, we are card carrying Binny's Beverage Depot shoppers, asking for vinho verde (her request) and "party friendly Bordeaux" (mine).

Erica calls a tray of fucking celery crudite and knows how to turn goat cheese into manna. She cooks in the middle of the night with whatever we have left over, and makes falafel and eggs to die for.

All this is to say that Erica knows a little bit about food and wine.  So when she whipped open last month's issue of Food and Wine and the ARRRGGGHs starting pouring from her foaming, anger-twisted lips, I grabbed a pen and a notebook.

Let's just say the magazine is not what it used to be. And this was "the wine issue" no less...

The following video is half-scripted by her scathing and exhaustive commentary, half-improvised with my ad lib a la (always drunk) Julia Child.

Bon appetit!